Entire Campaign Derails Because Party Befriended a Guy Named Greg

A long-running tabletop role-playing campaign went irreversibly off the rails this week after the party became emotionally invested in a minor non-player character named Greg, sources confirmed.

Greg, originally introduced as a nameless dockworker meant to provide directions, reportedly spoke one improvised line before players began asking about his hopes, fears, and whether he was “doing okay.” Within minutes, the group decided Greg was “too good for this world” and vowed to protect him at all costs.

The GM attempted to redirect the story toward the intended plot involving a cursed relic and an encroaching war. Those efforts failed after the party insisted on escorting Greg home, meeting his family, and helping him resolve what players described as “clearly unresolved stuff.”

“He was just supposed to point them toward the warehouse,” the GM said. “Now he has a last name, a childhood friend, and a complicated relationship with his dad.”

Over subsequent sessions, the party abandoned the main quest to help Greg negotiate fair wages, avoid conscription, and eventually open a modest fishing business. A planned dungeon crawl was canceled after players decided it was “too risky for Greg right now.”

Attempts to endanger the character only strengthened the group’s resolve. When bandits attacked the road, the party fled, not out of fear for themselves, but because Greg was present.

The original villain has not appeared in six sessions. Greg, meanwhile, is alive, prosperous, and emotionally supported.

Campaign notes confirm the GM has rewritten the story to account for this development, now centering the fate of the realm on whether anything bad ever happens to Greg again.